Desprately Seeking Peace

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

God is challenging me, changing me and when you're sitting on the potter's wheel spinning and spinning having portions of your life pushed on, molded and cut off it hurts. I want to trust that the changes God is bringing are the best for me, I know that this path is where I believe that I should be...but still I'm anxious, nervous...I don't know all that is going to happen-but I choose to TRUST God.
I've been challenged lately in my times talking to God with the question of what I want my life to be....do I want to be safe or do I want to leave "teethmarks" (This is a term from Flashbang by Mark Steele-fantastic book by the way!) Basically God is asking me if I want to have a nice neat safe life or do I want to change the world. Honestly, I want to make an impact, I want to leave marks where ever I can, I want people to encounter Jesus when I have the honor of being in their lives. I don't want to arrive before my Savior clean and spotless with only this to say "Whew! I made it, and my family is here so its all good!" I want to arrive messy, beat up for taking the punches for others, bleeding for the nations and the poor, I want say to Jesus, "I loved you with my life, by loving the marginalized, the 'unworthy' the 'unlovely'" I want to give my life so that they may know Jesus and not the abuse of the "powers that be". I can't sit back and allow "the church" to stay the same-I feel like revival has to start with me, I can't be satisfied with my nice comfortable life-I don't want to be comfortable anymore! Which is crazy because I keep crying out for God's peace...I'm scared of what this choice means, if I'm honest I want to be comfortable, I want to have more than enough money to do what I want to do, I want to live for myself in "comfortable apathy" and not be bothered by the masses around me who desperately need the peace of Christ. How do I kill the flesh and embrace the spirit. This is where I am, I want to be a grenade in this life not just a flashbang (again Mark Steele!) I want to leave a mark on every life, every person, every moment I want to love and choose God's grace and walk in a way that people see Him-if I die tomorrow what has my life been? I believe it has been preparation for this decision, this moment, this path-I must change or die trying!

May God's Peace be on you and may you hear His voice challenging you to leave a mark!

Korista

PS The book I mentioned is called Flashbang it is by Mark Steele and you can get it on Amazon-WAY WORTH THE READ!